Monday, September 22, 2008


You may find that some of my posts are a little... spiteful. Even hateful at times. Screw you. Keep reading and you'll see why I get this way.

A few years ago I was in Morgantown, WV with a friend of mine. We were "DJing" his cousin's wedding reception. I put that in quotes (yes, I used air quotes) because I normally don't "DJ." I "DJed" when I was 16. I'm 29 now, so I'm over that. If you are 40 and you still DJ. Get a life. Go learn an instrument and try and play in a band. Or, try running sound for a band. Its infinitely more complicated. Sound guys "DJ" on their breaks.

Anywho, we were setting up to "DJ" this wedding reception and after we're done, I start to get pretty hungry. The lady working behind the desk at the hotel kindly informed me that there was a BW3 down the street that had "grill" type food and wings. So two blocks and a stoplight later, here I found myself and my friend entering the hell that was Buffalo Wild Wings. (And yes, the nickname is BW3 because it used to be called Buffalo Wild Wings and Weck.

After waiting a short line, I was greeted with a girl at the counter that took my order. Little did I or anyone know, it would be MY LAST ORDER EVER at BW3. My order consisted of a Chicken Sandwich, Fries, and a soda. ("Pop" for those of you in the Midwest and you losers out in Pittsburgh that INSIST on using that word). How hard could that be? A chicken sandwich, fries, and a soda. I was also forced to choose a "flavor" for my sandwich. I wanted plain, but apparently that wasn't acceptable. More on that later.

After fifteen minutes, my friend received his order. Not quite fast food speed, but not terribly long either. I even gave them a little extra time seeing as they were *moderately* busy. Nothing like the place I usually go to for lunch, a little Mexican place, where they feed 100 or more people inside of an hour, without breaking a sweat. But, being the nice guy I am, I gave them another 10 minutes. I was after my friend in line you see.

After 30 minutes elapsed, I saw 2 or 3 people behind me get their orders, so I politely asked the girl behind the counter how much longer my order would be. She told me 5 more minutes. Not really thinking anything of it at this point, I wandered back to my corner, and stood quietly. Mind you there was no where to sit by this point as a surge of people had come in. After about 10 minutes (100% longer than I was told I would have to wait). I asked again about my order, and if I could at least get a cup to get some Coke. I was informed to "please wait my turn" as they were very busy." I asked how much longer I should wait as I had been there some 40 minutes at this point. I was told 5 minutes. At least I was given a cup. When I went for some Coke, the machine had no ice, no Coke (just Sprite, yecchh), and my cup was a non standard size which none of the lids fit.

Sigh... after *another* 10 minutes, I returned to the counter, I asked where my food was. One of the cooks in the back proceeded to yell out "Hey man, can't you see we're very busy here." And then all hell broke loose. I said, "LOOK, I've Been here for damn near an HOUR and you people have done nothing but give me a CUP that I could put WARM soda in with no lid. I would like my Sandwich NOW, or I would like my money back." This was returned with more whining and arguing. It also conjured up a worried look on one of the other cook's faces as he had realized he over looked my order on their chicken sandwich assembly line.

I was told it would be another 10 minutes. I said, "f*** you, I'm leaving." And I walked out.

Now, that may or may not have been the best thing to do. But by that point my blood pressure was so high, and I was so hungry, it was either that or possibly a brain embolism. I chose what I thought would cause less of a commotion.

I proceeded back to the hotel where the reception was and found that there was a snack shop in the hotel lobby that had pre-made sandwiches at their deli counter. I bought a tuna fish on wheat, a bag of M&Ms and I was pretty happy at that point. Had I known that existed in the first place, I would have gone there instead. I actually like tuna fish sandwiches.

About 10 minutes later, my friend shows up with my sandwich. I decided I would taste the sandwich that took over an hour to make, because if it took that long, there must have been a lot of care put into it.

One bite... - "UGHHH, YECCCHHH. WTF!?!?!"


Let me tell you people, if you don't like curry, there is no way you can force it down. In my haste to choose a "flavor" for my chicken sandwich at BW3, I chose "Carribean Jerk." Which a trip to their website confirmed had CURRY as one of the main seasonings.

The moral of the story is there are things that are so simple that you'd think any idiot could do them but you'd be wrong. One is DJing. Any moron can play dance songs from a computer and fade in and out between songs. But how many weddings do you go to and the music just sucks or sounds like ass. In the same vein any idiot should be able to make a chicken sandwich in under 20 minutes. Hell, I can make f**ing chicken piccatta in that amount of time. But you'd be wrong. Just go to BW3 in Morgantown, WV and see what happens.

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